Back Here Baby...

I missed you. My safe place to collect and contemplate and reflect. To hang out my wash and spend the time beating the truth out of it. I feel the way you feel when you see a friend who you haven't spoken to in a while. There is much to say and where to start? Let's just start with today's thoughts. I have lost my mind...my sense of purpose, and if we are being honest a lot of my want. You know, that want you wake up with the day you enter the world. The want to grow and change and seek out a life. Mine appears to be broken...and if not broken at least badly damaged. And now I have began the process to heal my want, to heal something buried so deep inside of my I don't honestly know where to find it. So today, I'm coming back here, the way you come back to your parents home, or a well worn book or the letters you carved into a tree when you were young and full of...lust, that you confused for love I think. I have spent the last few years consuming content...from Pinterest, Twitter, Houzz, Realtor.com, Facebook and Instagram.And I am fuller, and emptier than ever before. I've contributed to these platforms...but I have definitely not created. Not the way I feel my fingers ache to create. I repeat the stories of my day to myself out loud and I realize that the thing that is missing is my safe place to record those thoughts. We will work through this, we will figure this out. We will work through the thoughts and heaviness that rests here. Hopefully, I have grown in the last 8 years, but I'd bet anything...I'm still the same. A beautiful disaster.