Honestly

I have an honest qustion. It's not loaded or forced just honest. I am a 5'10 woman who grew up with a dad that's well over six feet. I've never been attracted to men that were shorter than me or my same height, I dated a guy who was "6 ft" (yea right more like 5'11) and it was always something I was catious and worried about. I decided the next guy I met I wouldn't let that happen. Why do men assume that they are the problem? I recognize that this is a "hangup" and totally my fault. I know that it shouldn't matter, but it does. I try to give shorter guys a chance, but everytime it ends up weirding me out. Not because I think their less manly or any of that b.s. Because I'm not confident enough in my self to put on heels and tower over a man. Because I would rather hide behind a man, than lead him. Because I want to be with someone who makes me seem average instead of overweight and too tall. I know that I'm really not even "overweight" anymore and really I'm not that tall, but after my last relationship and some of the things he said, I can't seem to shake that feeling. I don't think it's bad to know what you want. Why can't life, be more of a compromise. I know that I have some hangups I need to work through, but there are plenty of people who have bigger hangups than me who are living some version of someone's dream.

I finally look in the mirror and see a normal looking person. I finally know myself well enough to love even the biggest flaws I have, but I am begining to think that this w particular issue will be one of those things I just can't shake. It's okay for guys to prefer blondes or petite girls. Why isn't it ok for me to prefer a man who I can toss me around a little when it matters.

haven't met you yet...

I love when I don't have to write a post, because the songs already been written for me. Thanks Michael Buble...



I'm Not Surprised
Not Everything Lasts
I've Broken My Heart So Many Times,
I Stop Keeping Track.
Talk Myself In
I Talk Myself Out
I Get All Worked Up
And Then I Let Myself Down.

I Tried So Very Hard Not To Loose It
I Came Up With A Million Excuses
I Thought I Thought Of Every Possibility

And I Know Someday That It'll All Turn Out
You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid That I'll Get So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

Mmmmm ....

I Might Have To Wait
I'll Never Give Up
I Guess It's Half Timing
And The Other Half's Luck
Wherever You Are
Whenever It's Right
You Come Out Of Nowhere And Into My Life

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Baby Your Love Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Possibility

Mmmmm ......

And Somehow I Know That It Will All Turn Out
And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid I'll Get So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

They Say All's Fair
And In Love And War
But I Won't Need To Fight It
We'll Get It Right
And We'll Be United

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Being In Your Life Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Single Possibility

Mmmm .....

And Someday I Know It'll All Turn Out
And I'll Work To Work It Out
Promise You Kid I'll Give More Than I Get
Than I Get Than I Get Than I Get

Oh You Know It'll All Turn Out
And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid To Give So Much More Than I Get
Yeah I Just Haven't Met You Yet

I Just Haven't Met You Yet
Oh Promise You Kid
To Give So Much More Than I Get

I Said Love Love Love Love Love Love Love .....
I Just Haven't Met You Yet
Love Love Love .....
I just haven't met you yet.

Nights I'll never remember, with the people I'll never forget

Who let's this happen. I don't know how everything got into the state it is in right now...but I feel as if though I'm okay with letting it happen...I'll finish the story later.

If you can catch me you can have me...

Just when you think you have your life lined out you realize you are completely wrong! Talking to KT one day I said,"I know what I'm looking for in a man"...I have now official dated "those men" and they have all been a bust. I went on a late night date with a really nice guy on Friday night...but as usual it didn't go as planned. Sitting talking to him he was funny and nice and confident and attractive and goal oriented and did I mention attractive...however when we stood up and walked side by side I realized that he was really (mostly) the same height as me. he was rail thin (and being that I am built like a "sturdy old oak" that will not work). he had an odd profile... To top it all off his last name is hilarious. Not that I'm a planner, but a funny last name is not in my cards. Why can't he be normal, well rounded man of a normal height...I told KT that I wasn't sure he was my type and she told me that she didn't think he fit into my list. This list was born at a happy hour and until now resided only on a cocktail napkin:

My man must :

-have a neck, teeth, ankles, chin
-have played and still plays manly sports
-be mildly metro, clean, and well groomed
-be good with his hands (let that mean what you want it to)
-like rap and country equally
-respect the greatness that is an intelligent woman
-has his own likeable friends and likes my own
-race should be a non issue
-be able to move his body like a cyclone
-understand and appreciate the value of jumping on your bed
-be capable of making good decisions
-appreciate homemaking and all that that entails
-know what fine jewlery looks like
-appreciate a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets
-love lakes, boats and all things relaxing
-love his family, even the crazies that are in it
-have attractive siblings so they look good in my wedding
-have an amazing mom (just like me)
-understand that if I'm wearing black so are you and if I'm wearing brown so are you
-appreciate my tall sexy genes and have plans to procreate with me
-think I'm pretty much PERFECTS(insert Tiara above all, give me a breaky I was saucy)
-love the comfort and safety fo mongamy
-appreciate consistency
-understand the value of getting tipsy, even on a wednesday night
-Have or understand the powers of ADHD
-sparkly personality reqired
-thinks he's a model (not a real model, the kind of model that is mostly a schmuck)
-is under no circumstances under 5'10.
-cannot wish his life away wishing he'd made different choices.
-like fising, hunting and other manly hobbies
-tell stories that make me laugh so hard I hurt.
-a solid sense of direction and how all things are connected
-must love and appreciate home cooked meals
-Mr. Fix-it wanted!
-love family functions and willing to attend hem
-be able to makes choices and moves without directions
-must have an even temper ( or a firey side he can control)
-smart underwear choices required
-personal sense of style
-have his own understanding of what he wants from a partner
-must have a career path not a job
-likes to get dirty (fill in your own information)
-love to build things with his own hands
-must like to dance...not be particularlly good at it, but like it
-be able to give a comfortable hi-5




looking at this list now it seems a little crazy...I don't even think I'll find some of those things in a person...but I guess only time will tell...