Sometimes I Get Mad

Sometimes I get mad...not like normal mad. Like furious raging angry and fury mad. The kind of mad where someone's breathing could make me want to make it stop. Blending this washing rage and fury with the fact that I am suppose to love someone and want to be around them all of the time is difficult. I would love to be a typical loving affectionate SO, but I am not. Instead I am torn between pouring out emphatic adoration and pouring out overwhelming rage. Learning to balance the two is what a relationship is built on...however how do your train yourself to bite your tongue and still be honest with your feelings. At what point do you zip your lip, swallow your feeling and just move on. Life doesn't have to be full of honest, true feelings. I have always wanted a life that does, but maybe this is not what is best for others. It seems like my type of comfort, honest comfort forces others to go mad. And the question becomes, what kind of mad do you let persevere.